The Indiscretion

One might think that over the centuries man might have learned to unraveled some of the thought processes of women yet any husband will tell you that women are a mystery. One might think that with the experience of centuries of interaction between the sexes men might have some historical references by which to assess their actions and gauge their response. Here a man has perhaps a 50/50 chance of making the right response. So it was, and still is, with Melanie, my wife, and me.

It all started a long time ago when we awoke from a good night’s sleep as usual and I turned to engage Mel in a little foreplay before some sex as often happened on mornings like that one. She resisted as she always did for an instant; then, usually came to me to play. Came, that fateful morning when she resisted as usual and I became insistent on some friendly feeling and caressing as usual. She exploded in a rage.

Of course, I stopped my play immediately but it was too late as she screamed that I was trying to force her to screw me. . . She wasn’t going to screw me and it’d be a cold day in hell when I got any loving from her again. With that she got out of bed and true to her word I was cut off cold.

The next few days were hell as she was constantly angry with me or simply not speaking to me. Tuesday morning Me dressed to the nines for work and told me she was going out with the girls from her office for dinner and fun. She arrived home, slightly drunk, about 1:00am and went to bed in silence.

Then things seemed to warm between us slightly and we actually talked a bit and I suggested that I’d ordered two ticket to the opera that we attended every year. “You didn’t ask me if I wanted to go!” she said and I responded, “. . .but you always wanted to go. It as even your idea before.” Hearing my response, she flew into a rage and went off to work Friday morning mad again.

This kind of behavior was not knew; there’d been times before, but this was developing into the longest and most bitter. Why? Surely I hadn’t said anything or done anything to warrant this kind of behavior.

Friday afternoon I left work early, intending to go home and prepare a nice dinner and patch things up between Mel, this woman I dearly loved, and I. Then on arrival I found Mel had also arrived early and was already showered.

When I entered our bedroom, she was dressing for a party and never looked more beautiful or sexier but, being careful not to upset her I said simply, “You look very beautiful tonight!” in hopes of patching things up between us.

“Look Doug, if you think you’re going to conn me into going to bed with you, forget it!” she responded and I said nothing. Words would only enrage her.

Getting no response she continued dressing and suddenly turned to me and said, “I’m tired of your shit. I’m going clubbing tonight and I’m gonna’ get laid . . .get me a real man!”

Hearing her angry words, I’d had enough. I composed my thoughts before I spoke, “You walk out that door tonight and I’ll be gone when you get home. I’m begging you! Don’t go!”

She looked at me with a look of total contempt and having completed her dressing, walked out the door leaving me stunned and confused. I think I cried.

With no alternative, I packed my clothes and personal gear in my car and drove to a cheap motel where I got a room. There I lay planning my future. Revise bank accounts and develop separate maintenance. Get a lawyer. Tell friends. . . .

Sleep did not come. . . .

At about 2:30 a.m. my cell phone rang and I answered. Of course, it was Mel demanding, “Where the hell are you? What’s gotten in to you?” Her words were spoken in anger.

“I’m gone Mel. The marriage is over.”

Calmer and serious now she responded, “Doug, we need to talk.”

“Nothing to talk about. You went out tonight and shagged another man.”

“Doug, I didn’t shag another man. I was with Cindi and the girls all night long.”

“You told me you were going to get laid. Now you’re telling my you didn’t get lucky. Either way, you broke our marriage vows. . . ”

“But I didn’t do anything.”

“You told me you intended to.”

“I was angry when I said those words.”

“I’ll pick up the rest of my things when I get settled. Goodbye Mel.”

“Don’t go!”

Mel spoke with real fear and concern in her voice now as I turned my cell phone off.

The next few days passed quickly as I arranged separate maintenance and found my own apartment. Mel had called me a number of times at work and begged for a meeting to talk and I finally had to instruct my secretary to hold her calls.

Then, a week, or so, after our separation, I was preparing dinner at my new apartment when Mel’s friend, Cindi, came to my door and begged admittance; then, once inside, she began to plead Mel’s case.

Cindi began to tgell her story. Mel was sorry for what she’d done. She was a nervous wreck and barely functioning at work. . . crying herself to sleep at night and she needed me.

I tried to explain to Cindi that she’d betrayed me when she said she was going to get laid. “She’d said she was going to get a real man! It hurt!”

“But she didn’t,” Cindi replied, “I can vouch for that.”

“What does that matter? The fact that she intended to and simply missed her opportunity doesn’t alter her intentions.”

Then Cindi took a new tact. “So what if she had found a man and fucked him. It happens all the time and it’s nothing to get upset about.”

“Is that the way you and Dan behave? Do you get a little strange stuff when the mood strikes you?”

“What happens between Dan and I is our business.”

“Exactly Cindi. I think what happens between Mel and I is our business.”

Cindi, having made her plea, left.

The following Saturday, I was working on getting settled in my apartment when Mel came to the door. She looked like hell; pale, drawn and nervous! As she stood at the door I simply asked why she was there and waited for her answer. “We need to talk. May I come in?”

“We can talk right here.”

“Please.”

Something in me relented, it wasn’t planned or intentional, and I stepped back and bade her enter.

“Doug, I’m so sorry. I’ve hurt you badly and I’ll do anything to make it right. I think you know, deep down, that I didn’t mean those things I spoke in anger when I left that night.

“What am I to believe? You told me plain and simple. You said you’d get you a real man. That’s pretty plain.”

“I didn’t mean it. I swear! I was mad and I said it to hurt you. I’ve said I’m sorry. I’ll do anything. I’ll kiss your feet. . . .” and Mel was sobbing openly now. “Please. . . .” she cried out in despair.

I still loved Mel and though I was hurt and angry, I had no desire to hurt her. Seeing her sobbing and suspecting that she was probably telling me the truth, I went to her and took her in my arms and comforted her. . . “Let’s talk, I said.

She continued to sob and cry uncontrollably as I seated her next to me on the sofa and held her close to comfort her. Between sobs she tried to tell me, “. . .It’s all my fault! It’s my temper. . . sob!. . . .I wanted to punish you . . .sob! . . . don’t even remember what for. . . sob! . . . please come back to me. . . sob! . . . I promise, I’ll make you happy again. . . . . . . . . .”

As she cried out her thoughts, my mind was already working on conditions for taking her back. I wanted her!

Finally, as she cried out her anguish and regained her calm, I suggrested that the dinner hour was approaching and that perhaps we could make dinner and eat it as we talked. Of course, she readily agreed and we worked together to make a delicious dinner. It felt good having her close again and several times I had to restrain myself from any form of intimacy.

Then, over dinner I explained my position. I pointed out that the things she’d said were unforgivable and I could no longer trust her. She had indicated that I was a wimp and an unsatisfactory sex partner. Our marriage vows had been broken, if not in fact, at least in spirit. On the other hand, I cared deeply for Mel. I missed her love and companionship. We had built a very strong partnership with a sizeable estate.

Then, having asking if she understood my feelings and she agreeing that she did, I proceeded with my conditions for returning to the marriage. Her temper and her use of it to control me would no longer be tolerated and if she attempted such an antic I wold leave immediately. She could not be trusted. She had said things, then denied meaning them and she had said that she was leaving the marriage to ‘get laid’ by another man; should she even indicate such a move again, either overt or covert, I would leave. As with everything else, she could not be trusted with money and henceforth I would have sole control over our entire estate.

Having laid down my conditions, she looked at me, smiled and said, “Yes! And in the same breath said, “I want to make love to you now!

“Let’s do the dishes first.” I said.

Her eyes looked into mine and they were dancing with excitement not as she said, “We could do the deed now, come back and do the dishes ; then, go back and do it again.

Her argument was clearly the better one.

As we moved quickly to the bedroom, I saw her shedding her blouse and shorts as I dropped my shirt and trousers. Then, at the bed, we stopped only long enough to turn back the covers and expose the sheet. with she on her side and me on mine we moved quickly to divest ourselves of the rest of our clothes and meet on the crisp muslin sheets.

The moves were simple and efficient and with only a few grunts and ‘feels’ and non-verbal communications we were in each others arms. It felt good and I knew then that I’d made the right decision. We were a family again.

As we lay together briefly, enjoying the touch of our bodies Mel said, “Quick. Do me now! I want you in me.” She was anxious as she drew me to her and ulled me over her.

As I moved into position over her, it felt like I was in the right place. . . where I belonged! Quickly, my cock entered her pussy and pushed forward as the lubrication hadn’t developed in her love channel yet and it was rough as sandpaper. I hesitated as she cried out, “Don’t stop. Give it all to me.”

Fortunately, just as I was about to drive further into her, her lubrication began to flow and I pushed effortlessly into her very depths. We had always worked well together. . .this evening, it seemed better than ever as we felt the passion and excitement build.

Mel began to chant, “I love you! . . .I love you!. . . ! love you! . . . I love you!. . . .” In time to our coital rhythm – something I’d never heard before. We kissed and kissed again!

Our sexual intercourse had never been better.

Then, it was over and Mel and I lay waiting for the calm and serenity of the afterglow to envelop us as it always did. We were together again – man and wife.

Then, true to her word and even before we dressed, we did the dishes and cleaned the kitchen before returning to the bed and making fabulous love again.

Over the next few weeks, Mel was true to her words. Her temper tantrums stopped completely and she insured that I knew where she was and what she was doing at all times. She avoided going out without me and was available for sex at any time, day or night and always put her entire being into the act. She told me at least a dozen times a day how much she loved me and what a fabulous lover I was. My life had never been better.

It was just over three months after out reconciliation that Mel called me at work and asked me to come home immediately. Her voice carried a high state of concern and I asked no questions as I went directly home. I wondered, “Why wasn’t she at work? What was she doing at home this time of day?”

Then, as I pulled into the driveway of our home, I saw the county car parked in front and wondered. . . As I hurried from my car to the door and into the hallway, I was met by Mel who looked panic stricken. She was trembling and flustered as she introduced Doctor Hunter and we all moved to the family room to get comfortable.

Seeing Mel like that had immediately given me cause for concern. I listened in horror as Doctor Hunter explained, “You will need to be tested for HIV/AIDS and I am here to assist you in that matter as your wife explains the details to you.”

Mel began, “Honey, I lied to you about that night when I threatened you and I really did go out and be with a man. It was a horrible experience and he infected me with the virus. It’s a particularly virulent bug and deadly. I’m told I have perhaps one to two years with death after a short debilitating sickness. Please try and forgive me. . . I know I’ve disgraced and dishonored you and I’ll be out of your life tonight.”

Still trying to digest what I’d heard as the doctor prepared to draw my blood and confused, I asked, “Where will you go?

“Cindi was with the same man and her husband has thrown her out. I guess we’ll find a place. We won’t need a long term lease.”

Still dazed by the news of her sickness and her indiscretion I started to leave; to get away where I could think! As I moved, Dr. Hunter restrained me and said that there were some things that I needed to know about the disease and that he was there to explain them. I sat and listened.

The good doctor explained that it was possible to live safely and comfortably with a person with HIV/AIDS by following only a few safety precautions. Then he proceeded to explain each one in detail as I half listened.

My mind was considering another matter. The past couple of months had been like a second honeymoon and Mel had been completely attentive to me. she’d given up her old friends and seemed happy with just me. I loved her. . . .

Then, as Dr. Hunter completed his discussion, he asked, “Please keep us informed of your new addresses so that we can continue to monitor the disease.”

I found myself replying, “I see no reason to change either of them. My wife, immature and stupid, made a mistake – one that she will pay for with her life! Since that time, she has matured and we are a team again. If she’ll have me, I see no reason not to stay that way until her time comes.”

As Dr. Hunter left us to speak to each other, we made arrangements to take the days off from work so we might adjust to the terrible new we’d just received. Then, I sat devastated by the terrible news and the revelations I’d just heard, depressed and numb.
Why had she lied to me? Why did she . . .?

But it did happen and I’d have to come to terms with her behavior, ki.e., either accept it as her nature that I couldn’t change. My statement to Dr. Hunter had been made in haste but, on review, it was the right one.

Then, as we sat in silence, Mel’s imminent death a pall hanging over us, She began to speak freely. “Now, it’s finally out in the open. I’ve deceived you from the start. Those temper tantrums were my own invention to control you and deceive you while I got my way. . . It worked only because you loved me and I used that for my own ends. You surely must hate me for that. I went out with the girls at the office and listened to Cindi, My oldest friend! That fateful night I felt the power so strong that I told you outright what I was going to do. Cindi and I had arranged it beforehand. That real man I sought was a disaster in bed and I left him before the night was to have had ended. I was ashamed of what I had done. Then, you had left me and I knew I’d screwed up badly.
Since that day I’ve tried my very best to be the wife you thought you married and deserve and I’ve never been happier. Now, this has happened.”

As I heard her speak, I wondered how much was true. She’d lied to me and there was no reason to believe her now. . . . Yet somehow I did!

She continued, “You know, while we were separated, I thought surely you knew what had really happened that night and was too ashamed to even face you. Then, Cindi told me that you’d bought my story that nothing had happened and I should stick with that story. So I continued to lie and finally I thought the matter was closed.”

“Well, it’s not closed and you’re about to pay a heavy price for your indiscretion.

“Perhaps it’s better if I go to live with Cindi. I’ve broken my vows to you and deceived yo and used you and I’ve no right to your love and caring. I’m not sure I can live with the guilt either.”

“After all we’ve been through, we’re finally free of those encumbrances, and you can’t live with the guilt. That’s a bunch of crap. We’re in this marriage till the end and don’t you forget it.”

With that Mel arose from her seat on the sofa and came to sit in my lap in the big recliner chair where she kissed and caressed me in accordance with our new instructions for how to live with HIV/AIDs patients. “Take me to bed and let’s try out those new devices that Dr. Hunter suggested.” she said.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Over the next few weeks, Mel and I learned to live with her malady and we were more intimate now than ever before. She was frightened and needed constant encouragement.

When her friend, Cindi came by the house a few days later. she was desperate. Her husband had thrown her out of their house and abandoned her. She had been fired from her job. She had no place to go. . .

As Mel’s oldest friend, she felt obligated to help Cindi out in her time of need; then, as her health continued to deteriorate. she asked that I take care of her after she had passed. I reluctantly agreed.

Today, as I stand at the foot of Mel’s grave and tear up the note that she’d left me which asked that I make love to Cini and show her what a real man’s love is. She asked that I do it for her.

I ask her forgiveness as I find that I can not forgive what Cindi has brought on to us. It’d be easy to hate her but out of respect for Mel I will refrain from doing so. Instead, she lives in my house, receives my care and sustenance and I await her death to clear my last obligation.