These days, when a man pays for a high-priced call girl, he wants more bang for his buck. Escorts are not known for kissing their clients, but today men are paying for high-priced escorts who are willing to kiss them, “date” them, and be their pretend girlfriends. It’s called the “girlfriend experience”, and escorts are no longer called hookers, prostitutes, whores or hos; they are now called “providers”. Customers, previously known as punters, or Johns, or dirty old men now refer to themselves as “hobbyists”.
Kristin Davis, the Manhattan Madam whose former clients included New York’s Governor Eliot Spitzer, says that when men call up and want the GFE, (or the girlfriend experience), they ask for a “a nice girl” which is escort code, since prostitutes don’t want to describe over the phone what sexual activity will be exchanged for money. “This usually means that they want kissing and unprotected oral,” she says. “It’s code for paying for things a girlfriend would do with her boyfriend such as foreplay, non-rushed sex, and cuddling,” she notes, a concept interesting to any woman (and believe me there are many) who have had sex for free with no foreplay, two minutes of penetration, and zero cuddling. It’s also a trend explored by Steven Soderbergh in his 2009 film The Girlfriend Experience featuring adult film star Sasha Grey, pictured.
The GFE starts with dinner at a nice restaurant followed by making out on the sofa back at her place – often her own flat, where the sexual menu generally includes – DFK (deep French kissing), BBBJ, (bare-back blow job), DATY (dining at the Y), mish (missionary), doggie, and if she’s really a good girlfriend A level (anal sex).
There are websites (such as theeroticreview.com) where men with a fun hobby can read restaurant-style restaurant reviews of high-end UK prostitutes. On the Erotic Review website you can see pretty much what you’re getting via links to the provider’s site and titillating reviews.
Between £200 and £1,200 buys you a dream girlfriend who is an eight (“totally hot”), a nine (“model material”), or even a ten (“I can’t believe it’s a service!”). Reading the provider reviews assures that you’ll never get a four (“only if you’re drunk”), a three (“homely”), a two (“ugly”), or a one (“I was really scared”).
Reviews are blow-by-blow and start with a description of how the escort looked at first glance (“She opened the door scantily clad in sexy lingerie and very high, high heels”). Then her body parts are sized up. The Erotic Review website has a check list of breast appearance that includes perky, rock hard, super-nice, droopy and unnatural. Under pussy the choices are natural, partially shaved and shaved.
The PSE or porn star experience is increasingly popular, since guys watch so much porn they want to actually have sex with the real thing.
According to Mckenzies Escorts, which provides escorts throughout the UK that combine the GFE with the PSE, “If you are looking for an unbelievably naughty girlfriend experience with a real porn star, look no further! All of our porn star escorts have insatiable appetites for wild encounters. None of them are ever shocked. They are the naughtiest, dirtiest, filthiest sluts available.”
According to the Erotic Review, escorts are rated on a one to ten scale for performance. “An escort provider is only eligible to earn up to a seven, the site notes, “unless she is willing to perform one or some of the following during a session: kisses with tongue, bare-back blow job, really bi and anal sex. For each of these services, her potential max score is raided by one point, with ten as an absolute maximum.”
For those aspiring to try a new “hobby”, the newbie board on theErotic Review answers all questions and suggests how to get started. “How do you pay?” asks one guy. “I don’t want my wife to see my credit card statement.” “You put the cash into an envelope,” answers an experienced hobbyist. “Then you hand it to the girl beforehand. It’s called the donation.” Er, duh!
Veronica Monet, a former escort who wrote a book called Sex Secrets Of Escorts, says that the girlfriend experience is popular because the men requesting it “want an intellectual and emotional connection”. On the Erotic Review message boards, escorts also join in the discussion. During one exchange a provider writes, “I always have regulars who fall in love with me. It’s really annoying.”
As part of a sex survey conducted by the site, 50 per cent of those who responded said they were married. Another 44 per cent said they “would leave their ‘SO’ (significant other) for an active provider”. “Since I’ve become an escort,” says another woman, “I’ve never had so many marriage proposals in my life.”
Originally published in the November 2009 issue of British GQ.